A Precious Companion

This morning I picked up my best dress.
I expect to see you today, in a very good look.

I've been preparing for this day since two or three weeks ago.
..as I get dressed, my mind can't stop wondering if this effort would even matter to you.

30 minutes later, I get there along with our friends.

And you're not around yet.
Where are you?
You said you would be here today.

I realize you're so busy lately.
You don't even have enough time for yourself.
The last time I heard about you, someone said you were under the weather.
But baby, are you alright today?

Not long after that, a car stopped by.
My heart beats so fast.
The time suddenly makes everything moves slowly.
Just like a scene from a movie.

Someone comes out from the car.
....my heart stops.
oh my goodness, it's YOU!

My head starts to play a scene,
run toward you,
hug you as I say,
"Baby, you're here finally! I've been waiting for almost an hour! Don't you know how much I miss you?"

But instead,
all I say is,
"oh it's you apparently, I thought it was someone else hehehe.."

I know.
We remain good friends after that tragedy.
Honey..
I wish you knew.
My love for you is eternal.
I can pretend that I don't love you anymore.
And pretend that I'm such a good friend.
I'm good at it.
I'm good at pretending.

Besides, being your friend is my only chance to reach you.

But it hurts.
You probably don't have any idea how I'm deeply wounded.
It's not occasionally. It's a non-stop torture.

My head filled up with thoughts about you.
My heart won't open cause it losts its key.
You were once a blessing.
Now, a cursing.

Still..
You are and always be.

My favorite nightmare.
My guilty pleasure.
My treasured darkness.

As you get along with another group of friends,
I stare at you...
I dont give a damn to the crowd.
Your smile, laughter, and stories...
are all that I wanna consume my whole life.

Two hours passed by.
Your lover is there.
Outside.
Waiting for you.
You say you have to go.
Another plan is waiting.

But I unexpectedly say...
"Don't go!"
I startled.
And then quickly laugh.
Pretend what I said was a joke.

I look at you.
Waiting for your reaction.
You don't laugh.
Instead, you give me an endearing smile.

Once again, my whole world falls apart.

I don't get it. Why don't you just laugh instead of giving me that smile?

and there you go...
the love of my life...

for the countless times.
walk away from me..
to your lover out there.
And not even turn your head to see me for the last time.

.....
I can't take it.
So, I call your name.
You look back.
I shout as I wave and say the last words.
"Take care!"
You wave back and smile, saying
"Will do! Thanks.."


Take care, my love..
Have an amazing journey.
I always wait for you over here.
I love you still.
Always have.
Always will.

 © Nuary Maharani 2016